Zaniness of Hogwarts
by LoveLifeForever
Summary: This is a random collection of ideas about different things at Hogwarts: Oneshots, song parodies, and other hilarity for you to enjoy
1. 12 Days of Christmas huh?

Twelve Days of Christmas at Hogwarts

On the first day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the second day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the third day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the fourth day of Christmas, Harry gave to me Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the fifth day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Five Golden Snitches

Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the sixth day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Six DADA teachers

Five Golden Snitches

Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the seventh day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Seven soul pieces

Six DADA teachers

Five Golden Snitches

Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the eighth day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Eight legs a crawling

Seven soul pieces

Six DADA teachers

Five Golden Snitches

Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the ninth day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Nine wondrous Weasleys

Eight legs a crawling

Seven soul pieces

Six DADA teachers

Five Golden Snitches

Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the tenth day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Ten ghosts of Hogwarts

Nine wondrous Weasleys

Eight legs a crawling

Seven soul pieces

Six DADA teachers

Five Golden Snitches

Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Eleven wands a waving

Ten ghosts of Hogwarts

Nine wondrous Weasleys

Eight legs a crawling

Seven soul pieces

Six DADA teachers

Five Golden Snitches

Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Harry gave to me, Twelve angry witches

Eleven wands a waving

Ten ghosts of Hogwarts

Nine wondrous Weasleys

Eight legs a crawling

Seven soul pieces

Six DADA teachers

Five Golden Snitches

Four mad Dursleys

Three Heads of House

Two crazy house elves

And a Dark Lord beaten by teens


	2. Hilarity for All

Harry turned to look at the portrait hole as Professor McGonnagal walked into the Gryffindor common room. Thinking quickly, he dived behind one of the couches, hoping to avoid notice. He was lucky, for as soon as the revered professor entered the room, she was assaulted by a wave of noises, smells, and colors so vibrant and clashing that it was impossible to think. She knew exactly who to blame, too.

"MR. WEASLEY AND MR. WEASLEY! COME DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT OR IT WILL BE DETENTION FOR A MONTH!"

Now, Fred and George were no strangers to mischief and mayhem. They could often be found purchasing products of such qualities and had even recently begun to experiment on there own. It was rumored that when they first brewed a potion, it had given new meaning to those hundred year old words, 'bubble, bubble, toil and trouble' - toil being the work put into cleaning their messes up, and trouble being what they often caused or found themselves in.

However, this was to prove a momentous occasion - the Twin Terrors, as they were known, would be blamed for something prank-like in which they had no part. It would go down in the Weasley family as one of only a few such occasions.

Said twins came barreling down the stairs upon hearing those words, unsure of what they would find. What they saw was something that made the two weak in the knees from suppressed laughter. There were tons of students in various states of dress and form. A few had sprouted random animal parts on their body, and several were sporting bright neon colors, some even changing colors slowly.

"Fred, my good mate?"

"Yes George, dearest brother."

"What was this one?"

"I'm not really sure. It almost looks like some of our work, but a few of those are things I don't recognize, do you?"

"I'm afraid not. Ah, it's been many years! A challenge has been issued!"

"The gauntlet thrown down-"

"The game is afoot!"

"That will be quite enough Messrs Weasley. Now, if you would please reverse the effects, I believe that I can let you off leniently with just a week's detention for, ahem, good behavior. Now, if you cannot reverse it, you will spend the rest of the month contemplating the consequences of your actions."

"We'd love to take credit for this, professor."

"Really, we would."

"But it's bad form to take credit-"

"For someone else's work."

"Not to mention that we couldn't reverse it."

The older witch looked at the two of them in silent, stern disbelief. She gazed from one to the other, as if hoping that one of the two would fold under pressure.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Honestly, professor, wasn't us!"

"Truly, your grace, we haven't been able to get them to work."

"It's a real blow to our pride, truth be told."

"We'll have to work extra hard."

"Indeed dear brother, think of our reputations!"

Professor McGonnagal snorted in amusement. It was true, the two held their reputations of the masters of mischief for Gryffindor Tower. Coming to a compromise, she turned to the two.

"Very well then. Consider this matter overlooked, as long as someone gets it all cleaned up and reversed. It will be an… _extracurricular_ lesson in practical application of transfiguration theory."

As soon as she had left, Harry crawled from his hiding place, relief palpable in his expression.

"Thanks for taking the heat on this one, guys, I don't know if I would have survived her wrath on this one."

"You did this?!"

"Bloody hell Harry, where did this come from!"

"Well, a bunch of the students were bothering Hermione, _again_ about her study habits, and a few decided to throw in some comments on all three of our mothers."

"All three? Wait you don't mean-!" George paled at the implications, then quickly grew red. Fred, seeing his brother's reaction, quickly intervened.

"I do indeed George. So, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, and I decided to reacquaint the Gryffindor Tower with the legacy of some old legends that happen to be mutual friends of yours. Luna Lovegood helped Neville and Sue Bones get the ingredients."

"Y-you know of-"

"I am _personally_ familiar with all four of the Marauders, though Wormtail is no longer deserving of his title." Harry smirked then added. "Besides, Marauding is in my blood. If you're nice and help me with this, I'll introduce you to the two that are left."

"WE ARE NOT WORTHY!"

"YOU HAVE OUR ETERNAL DEVOTION AND SERVICE LORD MARAUDER!"

"Please gentlemen, our business is meant to be quiet during the planning. As for the titles, well you may call me Bolt." It was on this day that the legend of the Marauders was reawakened, and it would be brought to new heights before their year was over. While the Golden Trio they would always be, Gryffindor soon became known as the Marauder Corporation, as it was in that tower that a large group would collaborate for mischief and mayhem to the detriment of all cruel pink evildoers.

_Several Months Later_

The Umbitch, as many referred to her, sat on her throne, pink robes draped over her. Quietly sipping tea, she watched the many students taking their History of Magic OWLs. All of a sudden, their was a rumbling sound outside the large double doors of the room they were in. It stopped and the students returned to their work. Again, a rumbling sounded, and again it stopped. At this point Umbridge was becoming very agitated, as she was sure that she would be expelling several students. And so she opened the doors…

In burst the two Weasley twins, over their backs were slung two rucksacks that held a large assortment of explosives, prank items, and fireworks. Letting loose, they began sending there work scattering across the room, allowing it to puncture the various Ministry Decrees. There were several bangs as she tried to remove them from the hall, but to no avail.

Fred and George provided a running commentary, with Lee Jordan, who somehow got the equipment, doing commentary.

"We present this magnificent work before your judgement oh great professors. I, Fred, approve this message."

"So what'll it be? An E or O?"

"Please not a Troll!" George punctuated this with a tossed firework that created a large troll face of sparks in midair that danced and changed color before letting out a dull roar.

"Good evening everyone, I'm Lee Jordan, and this prank was brought to you by the collaborative effort of the Marauding Corporation, headed by our very own Messrs Weasley! Let's give them a great cheer!" At this point he pushed a button, letting loose the noise from the crowd from the World Cup.

Frantically the Umbitch worked, trying to uphold her image in front of these revered wizards and witches, unaware of their suppressed laughter. Professor Tofty turned to Professor Marchbanks.

"I heard what you said earlier about Dumbledore. Whatever he did with his wand, I have absolutely no doubt this group could match."

"Oh, I'll bet they had Albus help on a few of these! It feels a bit like his sort of thing!" She laughed delightedly as the twins and Lee turned and bowed, always avoiding the paranoid wrath of Umbridge and Filch.

The Corp, as they had taking to calling themselves for short, rapidly moved, discreetly placing several of there more _potent_ works around the hall. Once it was ready, Harry activated it, creating a stampeding herd of crumple-horned snorckacks that carried her out of the school, off the grounds and into the Forbidden Forest.

_Scene Break_

It was several days later that they found the Umbitch, who had been missing and went happily unnoticed. She was sent to St Mungo's and diagnosed with an extended and only recently exacerbated case of psychosis. It was soon after discovered that Fudge suffered similarly and was immediately ousted from office. Dumbledore, being the most sane person with strong enough Ministry connections was pushed into office, and Professor McGonnagal became temporary Headmistress. As for the Umbitch, she spent the rest of her life in St Mungo's spell damage ward, dreadfully afraid of any loud bang. And as luck would have it, the Longbottoms forever after received small fireworks on each visit. It was a happy life indeed.


	3. The Sirius Quest A Beginning

**Harry Potter, Grand Sorcerer, High Mage of the Council of Magycks, and Badass Overlord, was bored. He had defeated fifteen Dark Lords in recent times, created his own Philosopher's Stone, accumulated a fortune, had a library with every work ever written - and had read them all - owned numerous ancient artifacts and, most interestingly of all, had bedded every girl he wanted to at the moment.**

**He had learned every subject of magic, science, art, and everything in between, for the simple reason that he was too bored to do otherwise. He could perform every magical jutsu, bend every element to his will, use every martial art, and had created a magical version of every weapon in existence - including a few lightsabers. After all, what kind of badass would he be without a few lightsabers. Without really trying, he came up with a nonmagical cure for cancer, removed aging as a factor in death, and established a colony on Mars. He could play every instrument in existence, painted beautiful still life landscapes, and had finished the sculpture **_**David**_**. There was only one thing he couldn't do - sing. Oh, he could hum beautifully, but when he actually opened his mouth, banshees fled. No matter how many rituals he looked into, none would allow him to sing. He was currently working on a new ritual of his own that would finally do just that. Really, after fixing his vision and giving himself the power of flight, how hard could singing be. The previous Thursday, he had given the muggleborns complete control of the magical government in the British Isles. So he decided that he would build a portal to another world. It ought to be simple enough, he thought, go to another world and start beating the crap out of the bad guys. It should keep him occupied for a week.**

**So that's what he did. His first goal would be to find Sirius, **_**his**_** Sirius. After that, everything else would come later. So, to make sure he had company, he used the Resurrection Stone to bring back everyone, student and staff alike, that he new moderately well in Hogwarts, the three Marauders, his mother (for his dad), Tonks (for Remus), Madame Rosmerta and several unattached Veela (for Sirius), Fleur (for Bill), Narcissa Malfoy (for Charlie), the Longbottoms and Lovegoods, the Weasleys, all three Dumbledores , the Flamels, and of course Hermione. Why, without her, and as complex as his plans were - there were four steps at this point - they would crash and burn!**

**Having finished procuring his scouting party, the merry band set off on their quest, to find Sirius and then terrorize the nexus of looked on in terror as Sauron walked into the battle. All hope was lost, for who could hope to stand in the way of such power. It was impossible that he could be defeated. Of course, he forgot that when Harry walked on stage, the word impossible was thrown out the window.**

**Sauron was having a good weak. It was a Monday, always a lucky day for Dark Lords, managers, lawyers, and all other manner of evil beings. Not only that, he had conquered almost all of the lands around him. Thank goodness he was still in the early stages of the world. Even this early, the most evile of inventions was beginning to rise from the low ranks of scholars - paperwork. Oh, the dreaded bane of all rulers and ruling systems. It could be countered by the effective measure **_**bureaucracy **_**but usually resulted in headaches anyway. No, best to cut it off early and establish a mindless dictatorship.**

**Harry decided that it was quite obvious who the bad guy was, tall, dark and evil. So, walking up, he tapped the being on the shoulder in the classic method to start a brawl. He had got it out of the handbook that had brought him this far, **_**So You Want to Be a Badass.**_** It truly was a brilliant piece of work, and had the perfect way to begin every type of confrontation.**

**As soon as Sauron turned around, Harry hauled back and punched him solidly in the temples, knocking the Dark Lord on his back. Slowly he rose, dramatically raising his mace as if to say 'you want a piece of me?' Harry pulled out his Buster Sword, as if to answer 'bring it on.' With that, he went in for his first few strikes, sheathing the sword as he went. Harry hadn't enjoyed a good old fashioned bash in brawl in a while, and his mum's Irish blood demanded that he get one, and soon. His first hit was a rapid one-two combo to the face, followed by a two handed smash into the crown of the helmet, breaking off those stupid-looking spikes.**

**Now, there is of course no such thing as a Dark Lord fighting fair, so Sauron called in his toughest troll and orc crossbreeds as well as his Nazgul. In response, the men on Harry's team decided to enter the fight. The two armies simply sat back, yelling "Fight, fight, fight!" The chant that could be heard across Middle Earth. Snape crept over to the goblins and whispered to them, "I bet you five thousand gold ingots that Potter wins." When Lily raised an eyebrow at him, he replied, "You can never have too much gold." She simply snorted.**

**When the fight was over, Sauron was on the ground, Harry had taken the magic of Sauron and the Nazgul, and Snape was five thousand gold ingots richer. Before they left, as a gift for defeating Sauron, the elves gifted Harry with a beautiful singing voice. The only problem was that it got him laughed at by Snape and Sirius. It was one of the few things the two could agree on, another being that Dumbledore was a little crazy. As such, he asked for a little dwarvish singing to give it some gravelly tones when he wanted them. Unfortunately for him, it couldn't be done. So, having bought some mithril for stuff he wanted to make and made some new friends, Harry and company created the portal and continued their quest to find Sirius.**


	4. The Great Tora Cannon

The Damyo's wife sat in the Hokage's office, waiting for the gennin team assigned to get her cat Tora back to return. It was often like this, she would wait for the team to return. Sometimes it took several hours. She was often puzzled at it taking so long to get said cat back. I mean really, it was just her precious Tora, docile little thing that he was.

Unfortunately, she would be waiting far longer today, as Naruto had once again lived up to his nickname as Konoha's Number One Most Surprising Ninja…

"Gather round, gather round! Shinobi and kunoichi, one and all! Step right up to play Konoha's newest game! Tora Cannon!" Naruto grinned hugely as he looked at the large crowd below him. Nearly every shinobi available had come when they learned of the fabled demon cat's fate. Anything that implied cruelty towards the cat was good in their books, and by the end of the day, several of them would have revised their opinions of Naruto based on this one fact.

"Now, the game is simple. I have set up a stretch of the forest cleared of all trees through the use of way too many explosive tags. You will take the dem-, I mean Tora, and insert said cat into cannon. Next, choose your preferred angle and the amount of power you want in it. Don't worry though, it's not that simple, or else it wouldn't be any more satisfying than just kicking the stupid cat."

Along this path, I have placed clones to monitor the situation. There are various explosives and other things under genjutsu that can keep the cat going. To assist in the thorough enjoyment of your launch, I have also set up a jutsu with the assistance of our lively Genjutsu Mistress, Kurenai! Give them a wave Kurenai!" The red-eyed kunoichi smiled and waved, a strangely graceful gesture.

"Now, the goal is to see how far, through guessing and chance, you can make the cat go. Don't worry, I have a retrieval seal that will work for about thirty miles. When the cat stops moving, one of my clones will put out a marker. As there is no fee to participate the first time, there isn't yet a prize for making it go the farthest, aside from that wonderful satisfaction of knowing that you caused that cat more pain than anyone else in Konoha! Now, let the games begin!"

First up was, of course, Sasuke. While emo-boy would probably never say it, he had respected our favorite idiot for the simple fact that he never called him as an Uchiha, always referring to him as Sasuke and thus proclaiming that he cared nothing for clan status. His respect for the blonde had risen after considering the amount of planning that had gone into this. Loading the cat in, he chose a maximum power setting (power is everything, right?) and set it at about forty degrees before launching the cat.

"And there the devil-cat goes. It hits the first set of explosive tags, and it's off once again! Oh, look at that hang time! Not bad for a first go, a real good shot there. The cat appears to have hit a trampoline now! Oh that was a good shot! It goes for a second set of explosive tags! Finally dragged to a stop at seven hundred feet! An excellent showing by Sasuke!

Next up was Iruka. Never let it be said that he passed on an opportunity to dish out justice. He somehow sent the demonic feline through three lines of spikes without it stopping, and yet, much to the mixed feelings of all, Tora still managed to walk away. Immediately following was Kakashi, who had it in for the cat from the first day, when it embarrassed him thoroughly in front of his teammates. He opted for a moderate power setting, seven of the ten available sets of explosive tags, set it for fifty degrees, and launched it.

"And there it goes! It's nearing its first boost in the form of a trampoline. Oh, would you look at that! One of the wind jutsu just activated, launching the cat a significant distance! It's off again. It rolls through a thorn patch – that will surely slow it down. Strange, Kakashi doesn't seem all that disappointed? And there's a set of explosive tags! It's finally rolling to a stop at one thousand two hundred feet!"

The event continued on in that manner for the rest of the day. Ino and Sakura ended up paying several times to try to better each other's scores, prompting Sasuke to do the same when they surpassed him. Tsunade even got in on it before the end, launching the cat, who's several times predecessor had given her just as much hell in catching it. In the end, however, it was Tenten that got the farthest distance, an impressive two and a quarter miles! Naruto ended up making the equivalent of an A-rank mission off the extra entry fees that everyone decided to pay. All in all, a good day's work.


	5. The Sirius Quest Part 2

Having finally gotten a decent singing voice, even if it wasn't very manly, Harry and company decided to move on to the next world. When they came out of the portal, they were in front of a beautiful large forested area. The women instantly decided that they would be camping for a little while, as, unlike Britain, the birds here were nice and didn't poop on your head if you didn't give them enough to eat. Harry, being who he was, decided to explore.

There was a huge dam in the distance and a nearby sign read Alkali Lake. Upon entering the dam, as it was the only exciting looking place in the area, he was immediately accosted by soldiers. Ignoring them, he began walking deeper into the facility. There were large generators and many more soldiers. When he finally came into the main room, a man known as William Stryker came over to the guards and tried to find out why a strange looking man had entered the building unhindered.

Harry introduced himself as the awesomely powerful wizard he was. Stryker then offered to give him an amazingly badass thing - metal claws. Pulling out the mithril he had bought, Harry tossed it to Stryker, instructing him to use that instead. Stryker, being the devious sort he was, mixed it with the adamantium.

Before Stryker would give Harry his claws, he wanted to make sure that Harry was fully trained in everything he needed to know. Going through Harry's memories, they found out about magic and the combat training he had so far. Adding to it, they trained him in how to use guns. Sig Sauers, M-16s, AK-47s, shotguns, sniper rifles, pea shooters - you name it and he could shoot it with deadly accuracy.

They also trained him in tactics, planning, logistics, survival, and piloting. He could finally make a plan with little input from Hermione and count on it to have a better chance of working. His favorite plane so far was the F-16, or the 'Fighting Falcon' as it was sometimes known. However, he could fly others as well. 747s, B-17s, F-117s, B-2 bombers, Black Hawk Helicopters, and any other military vehicle in existence. He liked the tanks and missile trucks. It was just so much fun to drive around your own personal arsenal.

He also instructed his scientists, out of Harry's hearing range, to give him as many mutant powers as they could. With Harry's magic and the word impossible meaning what it did to him, they ended up giving Harry everything.

He had x-ray vision, energy vision, telekinesis, telepathy, metal claws, super regeneration, the ability to move and perceive things at a beyond superhuman frame rate, teleportation, the ability to control technology with his mind, super strength, the ability to have diamond hard or solid steel skin, the ability to walk through walls, shape-shifting, and the ability to manipulate metal, among many others.

When they were done, the scientists also decided to fuse the magical substances Harry had later given them into Harry's DNA. Pheonix feathers, unicorn hair, acromantula silk, dementor essence, thunder bird feathers and many other things. In short, by the time they were done, Harry could quite literally do whatever the hell he wanted. Of course, being the idiots they are, they decided that Harry could still be controlled through microchips. Oh how wrong they were, he decided.

He overrode the power of the microchips and began to run through the sytems check-up of what he could and couldn't do. What he couldn't do… hmm…. _still _couldn't sing. Damn. Oh well, can't have everything, at least not yet.

That done, he began to make his way out of the facility, freeing two others as he went. All of a sudden, he felt a liquid hit him in the neck. As a familiar feeling began to try to slip into his mind, Harry laughed. They thought that they could use mind control on _him_? How thick can you get? Laughing, he continued on his way, bashing in his surroundings until he arrived at the front gate.

Inviting along the two others, who he learned were going by the names Logan and Desiree, he had them follow him back to camp, each stealing a motorcycle from the car pool in front of the base. He quickly introduced them to the rest of the camp. Desiree joined the Bill and Fleur, and they quickly began speaking in French. Logan went over to join Remus, Snape and Mad-Eye, and the three quietly went off by themselves to smoke for a while.

Harrry used his new powers to search for Sirius as well as Logan's mate, and found them both several hundred miles away. Using his new abilities, he teleported closer and closer until he found them both on an island. Quickly making his way inside, he found hundreds of other mutants, including one that was really sarcastic and had a funny sense of humour. He called himself Wade. Harry grabbed the man as well, as he knew Sirius would like him. Working quickly, he got them all out and found a jet waiting. While most went on the jet, Harry, Wade, Sirius, Logan's girl and her sister teleported to the camp.

There was a joyous reunion as Sirius joined the rest of them. When they were all finally ready, Harry opened a portal and they moved into the next world, wondering what else they might find.


	6. Inventive Expansions

Having finally gotten a decent singing voice, even if it wasn't very manly, Harry and company decided to move on to the next world. When they came out of the portal, they were in front of a beautiful large forested area. The women instantly decided that they would be camping for a little while, as, unlike Britain, the birds here were nice and didn't poop on your head if you didn't give them enough to eat. Harry, being who he was, decided to explore.

There was a huge dam in the distance and a nearby sign read Alkali Lake. Upon entering the dam, as it was the only exciting looking place in the area, he was immediately accosted by soldiers. Ignoring them, he began walking deeper into the facility. There were large generators and many more soldiers. When he finally came into the main room, a man known as William Stryker came over to the guards and tried to find out why a strange looking man had entered the building unhindered.

Harry introduced himself as the awesomely powerful wizard he was. Stryker then offered to give him an amazingly badass thing - metal claws. Pulling out the mithril he had bought, Harry tossed it to Stryker, instructing him to use that instead. Stryker, being the devious sort he was, mixed it with the adamantium.

Before Stryker would give Harry his claws, he wanted to make sure that Harry was fully trained in everything he needed to know. Going through Harry's memories, they found out about magic and the combat training he had so far. Adding to it, they trained him in how to use guns. Sig Sauers, M-16s, AK-47s, shotguns, sniper rifles, pea shooters - you name it and he could shoot it with deadly accuracy.

They also trained him in tactics, planning, logistics, survival, and piloting. He could finally make a plan with little input from Hermione and count on it to have a better chance of working. His favorite plane so far was the F-16, or the 'Fighting Falcon' as it was sometimes known. However, he could fly others as well. 747s, B-17s, F-117s, B-2 bombers, Black Hawk Helicopters, and any other military vehicle in existence. He liked the tanks and missile trucks. It was just so much fun to drive around your own personal arsenal.

He also instructed his scientists, out of Harry's hearing range, to give him as many mutant powers as they could. With Harry's magic and the word impossible meaning what it did to him, they ended up giving Harry everything.

He had x-ray vision, energy vision, telekinesis, telepathy, metal claws, super regeneration, the ability to move and perceive things at a beyond superhuman frame rate, teleportation, the ability to control technology with his mind, super strength, the ability to have diamond hard or solid steel skin, the ability to walk through walls, shape-shifting, and the ability to manipulate metal, among many others.

When they were done, the scientists also decided to fuse the magical substances Harry had later given them into Harry's DNA. Pheonix feathers, unicorn hair, acromantula silk, dementor essence, thunder bird feathers and many other things. In short, by the time they were done, Harry could quite literally do whatever the hell he wanted. Of course, being the idiots they are, they decided that Harry could still be controlled through microchips. Oh how wrong they were, he decided.

He overrode the power of the microchips and began to run through the sytems check-up of what he could and couldn't do. What he couldn't do… hmm…. _still _couldn't sing. Damn. Oh well, can't have everything, at least not yet.

That done, he began to make his way out of the facility, freeing two others as he went. All of a sudden, he felt a liquid hit him in the neck. As a familiar feeling began to try to slip into his mind, Harry laughed. They thought that they could use mind control on _him_? How thick can you get? Laughing, he continued on his way, bashing in his surroundings until he arrived at the front gate.

Inviting along the two others, who he learned were going by the names Logan and Desiree, he had them follow him back to camp, each stealing a motorcycle from the car pool in front of the base. He quickly introduced them to the rest of the camp. Desiree joined the Bill and Fleur, and they quickly began speaking in French. Logan went over to join Remus, Snape and Mad-Eye, and the three quietly went off by themselves to smoke for a while.

Harrry used his new powers to search for Sirius as well as Logan's mate, and found them both several hundred miles away. Using his new abilities, he teleported closer and closer until he found them both on an island. Quickly making his way inside, he found hundreds of other mutants, including one that was really sarcastic and had a funny sense of humour. He called himself Wade. Harry grabbed the man as well, as he knew Sirius would like him. Working quickly, he got them all out and found a jet waiting. While most went on the jet, Harry, Wade, Sirius, Logan's girl and her sister teleported to the camp.

There was a joyous reunion as Sirius joined the rest of them. When they were all finally ready, Harry opened a portal and they moved into the next world, wondering what else they might find.


	7. The Perfect Comedy Preview

Orochimaru sat in the circle as the other members of the Council, as the called themselves, came forward. He was beginning to grow weary of working with them, as he had taken all he could from them, as far as he was concerned. It was only in hopes of meeting any new members that he stayed with them.

On another matter, Kabuto had brought forward interesting news on the 'Kyuubi-brat' as he had been so named. It seemed that the child was about as welcome as Orochimaru himself was in Konoha. He also appeared to have a regenerative quality that surpassed Kabuto's own. The only issue they had found was extracting the boy without his old sensei's knowledge. The man was extremely canny, and doted on the boy when he could. Ah, well, another matter for another time. The meeting would be starting soon…

Were it not for his extensive medical training, Kabuto would have been sweating terribly by now. He was currently carrying out perhaps his hardest mission to date. However, the fruits of this mission promised to be boundless. He had, as Orochimaru instructed, done his level best to collect a strong sample from every bloodline in the village. It had taken years to do so, and extensive planning. The acquiring of the Hyuuga blood from an unmarked member was actually thanks to his target.

An embassador from Kumo had been sent to make an attempt to steal the young heiress, though no one knew this at the time. Naruto had intervened in a most spectacular manner, unleashing a fury of claws upon the man's face that had a familiar red tint to them. It was actually as this was being done that he had managed to also make a small cut on the Hyuuga. Kabuto, conveniently nearby, had immediately seized upon this chance, healing the unconscious girl after collecting a small blood sample. When he had turned around, the young boy had been gone. It had only been moments later that Hyuuga Hiashi had showed up.

Thanks to Kabuto's timely assistance and advice, Kumo was put on the defensive. The Yamanaka head had quickly confirmed that the man had indeed been acting on the Raikage's orders - foolish of the man, truly foolish. Caught with their pants down, the hidden village had been forced to give up a copy of their Forbidden Scroll or risk open war. They had rapidly caved. From all of this, Kabuto came out with considerable favor in the village for saving one of their two greatest bloodlines, which allowed him more freedom to move about. It was only by this favor that he had been able to get as far in the plan as he had. It was time to enact the final two stages of his plan.


End file.
